Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
