operation harelip BJ is a go
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
