how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
