everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
