I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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