he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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