do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
