let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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