Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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