anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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