Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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