I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
