Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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