well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
