I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
