Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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