worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
