and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
