At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
