He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Still dying that you shit outside
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
