Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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