How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
