would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
