Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
