is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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