ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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