Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
