Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
