hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
