the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
