Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
