I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
