Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
