I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
