hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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