just survived the first fart of the relationship.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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