fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
