it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
