I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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