your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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