I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
