I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
