call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just found puke in my bra..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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