I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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