She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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