I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
