I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
