I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
