WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
