3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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