My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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