Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
