Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
